Dear future KWF recipient,
Hi! First, I want to introduce myself. My name is Beth Brubaker, and most days you can find me running after our 2-year-old daughter, spending time with my family, and teaching high school students. However, if you are reading this, we also have something in common. You have heard the same words I did on September 26, 2018. “You have cancer.” Those words turn worlds upside down. At 31, my life instantly changed. Those words take normalcy away. They shook me to my core.
Now, I want to say welcome to the sisterhood that no one wants to be a part of. We are truly a sisterhood. I also want to tell you that everything you are feeling right now is justified. I felt completely out of control. Medical professionals began planning every moment of my life for the next two years. I heard words that were foreign to me. Lumpectomy. Radiation. Chemotherapy. Mastectomy. Instantly, they became part of my lexicon. That was incredibly difficult to accept… It is really hard.
There was also a “small” addition, we will say, to my breast cancer journey. Four days after diagnosis, I found out I was 1 in 3000. I was the 1 in 3000 women who are diagnosed with breast cancer while pregnant. Crazy, right? Every cancer journey is different, and all of them, regardless of circumstance, are challenging and downright scary. It is okay to be scared. You are beginning a journey. Some days, it will feel like a 40-yard dash and other days, it will feel like an endless marathon. YOU CAN DO THIS. However, I want to give you a small piece of advice. Just say YES. I know what you are thinking - say yes to what? After two surgeries and six rounds of chemotherapy, I gave birth to a healthy baby girl in May 2019. For nine months, my husband and I poured every ounce of our energy into keeping our daughter and me safe. There was so much joy in her delivery. What I did not count on, however, was how difficult it would be to not only go through the typical postpartum experience but also restart chemotherapy with a newborn. After delivery, I still had 10 rounds of chemotherapy to go. Every Thursday, I would leave my sleep-deprived husband and newborn daughter at home to go sit in an infusion chair for hours at a time.
I would then go home absolutely wiped and try to be the best wife and mother I could be. Not only was I physically exhausted but emotionally drained. Any shred of self-worth was gone. I cried every week. I was not thinking about anything except getting through these last rounds of chemotherapy. And then the email. One of the breast center’s nurse navigators and my best friend from high school watched what was happening. They saw me struggling. While sitting in my infusion chair during yet another chemotherapy treatment, I received an email with a subject line. “Spa Day - Karen Wellington Foundation.” Those wonderful people in my life nominated me to go on a spa day. My first thought? No. There were people more deserving than me. People who were REALLY struggling through their treatments. Then, I took a step back. I realized how much I wanted to do this. I NEEDED a day that I was not just a cancer patient. I needed to have a day that I felt like myself. I said YES.
23 days after finishing my final chemotherapy treatment, instead of an infusion chair, I sat in a pedicure chair. I spent a glorious afternoon with my best friend, laughing and relaxing. I was still bald with no eyebrows or eyelashes to speak of. However, for the first time in 11 months, I felt absolutely beautiful. This was a tremendous turning point for me. It gave me the pick-me-up I needed to finish the rest of my treatments (I still had radiation and immunotherapy to go). Even more so, it gave me the strength to be the best role model I could be to my daughter. I needed to be strong for her. I needed to show her that ordinary people, given extraordinary circumstances, can overcome anything.
Now remember - when you get that phone call, email, or surprise at your door, Say YES. Do not think twice. By saying yes, you are realizing Karen Wellington’s dream - to give women like us a much-needed opportunity to have FUN added on our calendar in the midst of cancer. By saying YES, you will join one of the most welcoming and loving families there is. By saying YES, you allow yourself that much-needed place of peace. My dear friend, I know that right now, having fun is probably the furthest thing from your mind. Trust me, I understand. You may also feel undeserving of something like this. I promise you that you deserve everything. You will get through these tough moments. Just remember my piece of advice through it all. Say YES.
With light and love,
Beth
I am a two-bedroom condo close to the Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando, Florida. I am no stranger to Mickey Mouse ears, princess dresses, and Disney movie singalongs. The magic of Disney shines throughout each room, but the families who make this condo even more magical are the Karen Wellington Foundation recipient families.
These families, consisting of kings, queens, princes, and princesses, radiate a refreshing joy and a childlike appreciation of each day, no matter their age. Once they walk through my doors, time seems to stop. A grandmother and grandchild stayed here on one occasion, their suitcases stuffed to the brim with both princess dresses and KWF gear. I am not sure I've ever seen a grandparent so enamored with the idea of a week-long adventure at Walt Disney World, but yet again I've never quite met a woman like this one either. She danced, sang, and skipped around the living room, kitchen, and bedrooms with her granddaughter to the Frozen soundtrack each day, matching – if not exceeding – her young granddaughter’s energy. This woman, a KWF recipient, was powerful and proud, yet delicate and gentlehearted – some may say she closely resembled the protagonists of the Disney movies we all know and love. She did not let the difficulties of day-to-day life get to her as many people do; no August day too hot, no wake-up call too early, and no line was too long as she explored the Disney parks. Every day was a gift. This KWF recipient exuded lively energy and childlike wonder as she told stories to her granddaughter far beyond her bedtime. No matter how long their adventures at the parks were, she always saved a little extra time to debrief on the magic that had occurred that day.
Oh, how I wish every visitor carried this free-spirited mindset that all Karen Wellington Foundation recipients seem to hold. I have been lucky enough to be a part of families’ most special memories: first family vacations, first excursions to the castle, and even first steps have been taken here.
Oftentimes, tales of enchantment and awe from visits to Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Animal Kingdom, and Hollywood Studios are shared within these walls, but the tales of strength and determination from KWF recipients are, in my opinion, the most enchanting of all. These families soak up every second of fun that their trip has to offer, with bright pink Mickey Mouse ears in tow. Many know Walt Disney World to be the “Happiest Place on Earth,” but I strongly believe that I take that title when Karen Wellington Foundation recipient families stay here.
I am a quaint cabin that sits on Norris Lake in Tennessee. Made of wood, my rustic architecture stands tall overlooking the clear waters that gently crash into the dock. Boats cruise by, children bounce up and down on tubes as their giggles echo across the lake, and bonfires light up the night. I offer a relaxing getaway for families of young and old; grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, teenagers, and toddlers have stayed within these walls.
I can recall one family in particular that left a specific mark, and I’m not just talking about the wet footprints from the four children. This family brought an energy into these walls that had not been present before. Upon arrival, the boys skipped through the front door with excitement and ran into every room with “Oohs” and Aahs” trailing behind them as they peered out each window at the lake. The daughter walked straight to the dock to stick her feet in the water, capturing the view with her phone. The mom swung a bag over her shoulder, as her blue eyes beamed with excitement. “LIVING” in pink letters stretched across the front. Seemed fitting. Unlike their children, the parents stepped foot inside my doors and just stood for a moment in stillness. Their eyes roamed around my walls until they met each other’s gaze. They exhaled. As peaceful smiles crossed their faces, I could sense they had been waiting for me.
Each morning, the boys rolled out of their bunkbeds and scampered down to the dock as their dad followed closely behind them. The mom and daughter would stay behind to chat over coffee on the screened-in porch, laughing at the entertainment below them on the lake. There was not a single dull moment with this family. I watched them participate in countless cannonball competitions, eat copious amounts of s’mores as they huddled around the bonfire, and have long conversations as the sun set on the lake.
The conversations that this family had were my favorite. They talked about the past, the present, and the future with a lens of gratitude and hope, thanking the Karen Wellington Foundation and my generous owner for making their special trip possible. They discussed the true meaning of the word LIVING, just as the mom’s tote bag had indicated. This Karen Wellington Foundation recipient family brought a new sense of LIVING into every room of mine.
On the last morning of their stay on Norris Lake, the mom tiptoed out to the dock as her children were still sound asleep. With a journal and pen in hand, she sat with her toes in the water and began to write letters to each of her four children under the rising sun. In these letters, she detailed the love that she had for them and the joy that this trip had brought to her heart. What an honor it is to be the place where LIVING became more than just a word for this family.
This holiday season provided a chance for the KWF Emerging Leaders group to shine some light on some of the most inspirational women in our community. After a year filled with Covid and cancer, chemo chairs and canceled plans, KWF wanted to end on a high note rather than allow lingering gloom to define this year for our recipients. Our special ladies deserved better.
That’s when the KWF Emerging Leaders stepped-in and stepped-up. Our KWF EL Committee is made up of 30 passionate, young professionals in the Cincinnati area all looking to get more FUN on the calendars of deserving women LIVING with cancer. Our ELs saw an opportunity to mobilize on a grand scale, went for it, and delivered. Big time. The ELs created KWF’s “12 Days of Giving” campaign in December. Over 20 of us masked-up and showed-up on the doorsteps of a dozen new KWF recipients, bearing gifts of fun. From spa days to boxes of FUN, personalized presents to vacations, these ladies felt the love from our members, especially Stephanie Camp. KWF recipient ambassador, Tara Riley recently had nominated her cousin, Stephanie for a gift of FUN. Myself as well as Emerging Leaders, Noelle Weber and Claire Suetholz joined Tara on day 8 of 12 for a delivery we will never forget. When we arrived on Steph’s doorstep we were overwhelmed with her excitement and infectious spirit. A burst of joy that had been slumbering in 2020. She was amazed that we were there to surprise HER with a box of FUN that included a baking class with a special guest from her beloved, and we do mean BELOVED, Cincinnati Bengals. She exploded with happy tears. It wasn’t just a gift, it was an invitation to join a KWF sisterhood that has become bigger than cancer. And she accepted the invitation without hesitation.
As Claire put it, “When we made that delivery to Stephanie, we quickly realized she was a walking example of the KWF mission. Stephanie had so much joy and zest for life, though life hadn’t been easy on her. It was an incredible reminder to me to embrace life’s struggles by bringing the FUN. I feel lucky I got to be there to welcome Stephanie to the KWF family!” A mother, grandma and breast cancer survivor with other family challenges, Stephanie has already lived a full life. Despite cancer and personal loss, Steph was quick to remind us what pulls her through... faith. “Faith is a big part of my life. I always bring faith,” she noted with a cheery confidence.
In fact, we observed in Steph an infectious positivity most people go through life looking for, but never find. Steph had it. In spades. As the three of us drove home that night, we couldn’t stop smiling. It had been a tough year for us too and this holiday season was a bit of a mystery. Not as merry. Until we met Stephanie. Her faith and that a reservoir of joy that laid just below the surface waiting to be invited out, stuck with us. It moved us to our own happy tears. Not only that evening but throughout the holiday season and as we write this on a cold, rainy, late January day. Joy is still out there. It might be a bit locked-up these days, but each of us holds the key to unleash it in others and ourselves.
That’s the thing about our 1,000+ KWF gift deliveries. You head in thinking you are the giver and you are going to play a small role in changing someone’s life. But what we find is that both the giver and the recipient are changed exponentially for the good. It’s not 1 + 1 = 2 addition. No, it’s multiplication. And a reminder that 'give first' is really an invitation for each of us to ‘LIVE first’ more in all that we do. Thanks for the gift, Stephanie. We can’t wait to include you in another magical KWF delivery.
-Angeline Wellington, Claire Suetholz, Noelle Weber & all our Emerging Leaders KWF Emerging Leaders: Bre Romeo Bovara: co-chair, Angeline Wellington: co-chair, Drew Ross, Noelle Weber, Robby Wellington, Annie Keefe, Claire Suetholz, Jack Fitzgerald
Jack Perez, Brad Chamblin, John Popken, Francie Ruppert, Matt Bitter, Marta Stewart Kirran Magowan, Matt Kittell, Simran Magowan, Jessica Bailey, Robert Bovara, Meredith Brown, Amabel Bunry, Stevi Carr , Anna Coutts, Megan Day, Sean Ironmonger Frederick Riley, Sam Rossell, Brooke Stull Marcus Thompson, Lindsay Tillinghast
As I look outside on this cold, grey day in Cincinnati I’m reminded that my friend on the other end of the phone has a similar perspective, yet a much different view on this Sunday. Dr. Victor Nicolas or “Dr. Vic” as we call him is relaxing at his beachside home in Maui, enjoying an extended honeymoon with his wife, Rita. Dr.Vic has been an anesthesiologist for the past 35 years and a Hawaiian vacation homeowner for just shy of eight. He has generously given his beautiful condo to KWF recipients since 2015. The special thing about Dr. Vic is that he fully embodies our ‘Give First’ mentality. He has a ‘no strings attached’ approach when it comes to sharing the gifts life has given him with others.
When I spoke with him about what prompted his generous spirit he elaborated on the ‘miracle of giving.’ “Anyone who comes here, they come as our guest,” notes Dr. Vic. He went on to explain the importance of making lasting memories for families LIVING with cancer and how if he can provide his home to do just that, he’s “in.” Just this past November, KWF lost a member of our recipient family, Becky Pellegrini. Dr.Vic was behind this nomination from the start. He knew Becky’s father, Dale and made sure she enjoyed some time on the island he loves so much.
As her family describes, “Becky spent a good amount of time joyfully watching the sea turtles swimming from her balcony that week.” No cancer in sight - just the Haleakala sunrise and blue ocean for miles. Becky loved that vacation so much that her family has decided to all go back next year. Her kids will now have the chance to watch those same sea turtles from that same balcony thanks to the generosity of Vic and Rita.
That same generosity that was on full display just a couple of weeks ago. On December 23rd, KWF gave our 1,000th gift of FUN to 29-year-old Jamie Helbig, a Covid/ICU nurse LIVING with breast cancer. After a year filled with Covid, cancer and a canceled wedding, we knew Jamie needed that trip to Maui. And it is no surprise that Dr.Vic felt the same. His daughter, Cara was present at that delivery to offer up insight on the island and a warm Aloha welcome to Jamie and her fiancé. The same couple has since decided to make that trip a destination wedding.
As our conversation came to a close, Dr.Vic elaborated on the magic of Hawaii. The famous Mama’s Fish House where he frequents, the beauty of the Maaleah Bay and the commanding view of the Haleakalā Volcano in East Maui. All beautiful, yet inconsequential in comparison to the feeling he gets when he can share it all with women and families LIVING with cancer. We'll give Dr. Vic the last words here, “Very few people get the concept that happiness does not come from getting, it comes from giving and it’s even better if you can give at a personal level. If you can know a real person and their real struggles and their real concerns and make their life a little easier. Even if it’s just for a week or two...it gives me a great amount of personal happiness.”
